Yes, it might be a bit of irony that my first post is about this topic, but anyone who experiences this situation knows; The only way to accept separation is through the brain. So let’s examine what’s going on together …
Brain and Break Up
Whoever tells you that “you will forget in time, it is just a habit,” turn to them and say ; ” You, shut up! Let the science speak !” Because at the end of the day, only your brain and you will remain, not your friends, family, or even your mirror image.
Anyway, let’s get to the scientific stuff, basically six systems of the brain are affected after the separation;
1. Attachment system
The attachment system is all about communication and mainly works with oxytocin and vasopressin. Right after the breakup, this system quickly takes us to the person we broke up with. Moreover, it doesn’t even care whether this person is kind or affectionate. Because of this system, we think that a part of us is missing and we feel lonely.
So, am I going to look for his lack in spite of everything he has done to me because of my dear brain?
What…??!!
At such times they say; socialize with your friends, don’t think of him, find interests bla,bla,bla.. Heyy, how can I get myself a new hobby and try not to think, when my only interest was in his Instagram posts, new lover and damn happiness at that time? Also, while the anger of my friends has not passed yet …
2. Reward system
The reward system is associated with addictions and guides the person towards their longing for their ex. Serotonin is also a neurochemical that determines how a person feels. For example, obsessive thoughts, negative perspectives, and an inability to control impulses may be related to serotonin.
This system may be the reason for your impulsive actions such as constantly calling your ex, sending messages, following up, and getting secret information about him.
Damn Serotonin !
3.Pain system
The pain system is associated with heartbreak, sadness, mourning, and feelings of hopelessness. With separation, endogenous opioid levels begin to decline, bringing feelings of stress and pain. This is another source of motivation for reconnecting with the relationship.
Try listening to music that allows you to express your emotions, especially empowering or mood-boosting, relaxation whenever you feel your pain system is activated. Music is used as a therapeutic approach in many areas of neurology and psychology because music can affect different parts of the brain. Exercising and eating a balanced diet can also give your brain what it needs.
Wait a second…I’d better get Adele out of my list.
4. Stress system
The primary neurochemistry of the stress system is corticotropin-releasing hormone and norepinephrine. Both stress systems tend to act immediately after a breakup. These cause the person to feel overstimulated. Some individuals may experience anxiety, palpitations, altered sense of taste, and difficulty sleeping.
These are all chemistry…
When you think your stress system is in motion, try to connect with nature, exercise, move and relax. Studies show that activities that stimulate the secretion of serotonin hormone in particular help. Make peace with your senses. Enjoy the brain’s response to nature, thanks to the sense of smell and hearing. Sounds and smells can change your mood.
Reaally ? Can we really believe that trekking is for forgetting someone? Or to meditate?
Of course, if it causes us to lose weight and become beautiful .. why not?
5. Emotion-order system
The prefrontal cortex is known to be less active when stress levels in the brain are high, for example immediately after separation. In fact, the prefrontal cortex must function properly in order for all of us to function emotionally. Emotions can only be managed in this way, and impulses can be controlled.
So the whole problem was that my prefrontal cortex was less active …
6. Cognitive Networks
During stressful periods, the brain ceases to be cognitive, leaves its regulatory system aside and puts the emotional system in the foreground. This causes concentration, regulation and memory problems.
As can be understood from all this, many things are happening in the human brain after a breakup, almost like a storm blows. It is perfectly normal for the brain to show a strong reaction after the breakup. However, with time and effort, the neurological chemistry of the brain is regulated and the disturbing symptoms disappear.
What you experience is independent of time and place. Emotions have no time and everyone has their own time.
If you have come this far, I want you to know that you are not alone. Chemicals may be the source of our emotions, but chemistry cannot explain what we feel. Science proves some things but cannot feel. It will pass over time, yes but time will pass with us. Do not suppress your pain, accept them. And always believe in this; No matter how long you run, it is only your destiny that you catch up.
Thank you for reading.
See you in my new post.
